Wednesday, July 4

I was sent this in an email and thought I would share....

Is there a magic cut-off period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, "It's their life", and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my son's head. I asked, "When do you stop worrying?" The nurse said, "When they get out of the accident stage." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my 30s, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said, "Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my 40s, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, "They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be adults." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick and tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle. There was nothing I could do about it. My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing. I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my mother's warm smile and her occasional... "You look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling all day, and no one answered. I was worried."

I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.

PASS THIS ALONG TO OTHER PARENTS ( ... also to your children. That's the fun part!)


The boys are on holidays at the moment...it has been fun...will post some photo's soon xxx

2 comments:

Zanna said...

Love it Leighanne - yes it's right you never do stop worrying - but you learn to take a step back - I'm the mother of 2 sons - one married to a fantastic girl with two wonderful grandsons (so you start worrying about them!) and one single 26 year old - intent on making the world his oyster - and yes I worry about them all but I also realise I have to let them lead their own lives and make their own mistakes and just be there when they need me

Wanna_B_slimmer said...

That is very well written. Glad you are enjoying the school holidays...
How is Vic's dad???