After a really foggy morning it's now a lovely sunny day here,
This is the view from the window of my computer room;

Having the sun out really boost's my mood!!

I would like to send a huge thankyou to ChubbyMum for being a 'sounding board' in the past few days - especially with the 'issue' I've been having with my Dad
I hope you are feeling much better - and that you had a proper rest yesterday:)

She has encouraged me to talk about what I am feelings, instead of keeping it all in (and making me go crazy...lol) - and it has really helped make my head feel so much clearer...does that make sense??
..On that note, I will let you know what has ben going through my head lately to make me feel blah...
I started 'again' to get serious about weightloss 6 weeks ago, the reason was that I had got up to 87 kilo's which really scared the beejeezes out of me - especially knowing that I got to 75 kilo's around my 30th birthday! - that was also the same time that Nan died ~ so it was a time of alot of stress and emotional eating.
But getting on the scales at 87 kilo's really gave me a wake up call that if I didn't do something the numbers would just keep going up and up!! Which has made me put more effort in - alot of my clothes were/are tight and looked horrible with rolls showing - and some tops didn't even fit anymore, so my wardrobe has been getting very dull. At the moment it's mainly down to daggy trackies and loose tops. In the last 6 weeks I have got down to 83.5 kilo's - I should be happy (I am that the numbers are going down) but I am still feeling very fat and frumpy, I don't feel like going out looking like this - which is a tad depressing!

I would have loved to go meet all the bloggers in the city last weekend - the main reason I didn't go was because of how I am feeling about myself, and what I percieve others will think about me ( did I mention I'm also very shy!) - very silly I know!

The fact that nothing much has been happening workwise isn't really boosting my self esteem either. Tommorrow I am starting a vounteer job at school working in the office on wednesdays while one of the office girls is on leave - which will be fun:)

Now that I have got all that out - I am feeling more motivated to exercise and get this weight down - so I can feel better about ME and my appearance, then when the next meet is arranged I won't be as scared to go!!

If you have read down this far you deserve a medal...lol

Hope all are having a great day:)

It was a pretty quiet weekend here~
I spent most of Saturday helping Jason make a game about whales for a school project. He did it using my scrapbooking stuff - it turned out quite well:) Now he has the bug..lol...he wants to make one about cars next:)
Here's a picture;
I wasn't feeling to well Saturday night/most of Sunday - I had a headache, felt dizzy and nausea. So no exercise done. I did do some comfort eating - but I didn't go stupid, which means my weight is sitting about the same as I was on Thursday. So if I work hard the next few days I should record a loss...fingers crossed xx

Well Now I have to go do all the housework that I avoided over the weekend:)

Wow all of us blogger's are such a great supportive community!! I really feel like giving you all a big hug through the screen! I wish I could meet you all:)

I'm not really sure why I was feeling so down through the week, I had been on a 'roll' with everything for 5 weeks! ( that is the longest time I have stuck to this for ages) and I just kinda fell into a 'slump' which easily reverted to old eating habits ( comfort food!)
......... Isn't it amazing how quickly we can fall into those old eating patterns!!

I really had thoughts during the last few day's of giving up - that I am sick of having to watch what I am eating, it just seems so hard sometimes! BUT don't worry I have no intention of doing that at all:)

Luckily I still did all my exercise ( it has turned into a normal part of my day now) so at weigh in today I 'turtled' which means I stayed the same as last week ( which I didn't mention last week was a .1 gain) ....but my thinking today has been that this is really not good enough!! I really want to get losing properly again... so I am determined to record a loss next week!

I think I let things get to me to much - and I end up so depressed about what is going on in my life! ( there is one issue going on that I can't really discuss here) Tonight I sat down and had a scotch and (diet) coke with hubby - the first time I have had a drink in ages! It was really nice to sit and relax:) ......but now I am wide awake and it's after midnight..lol

Well I might go have a read up on what you all have been up to!!

I had been feeling a little 'down' about things over the last few days ~ But when I came online and read about Emily & Johnny's loss, any problems/feelings I am having cannot possibly compare to the heartache they are going through. I was crying just reading about it.

I have nothing to complain about ~ I have my health, my husband, my two boys - I really have alot to be thankful for!

I have just finished watching the Kylie interview - so am all teary again:)

At the moment my thoughts are with Emily & Johnny *hugs*

Thankyou for all your supportive comments on Marg's passing. The funeral was a lovely reflection of her life ~ and it was great afterwards to have a 'chuckle' with the family about the happy times:)

I lost .9 this week ~ that makes 4 weeks in a row!!

About the bio oil: I am not sure if it is doing anything on the stretchmarks yet ( as it has only been a week) but my skin feels so soft. I have two tiny scars in between my belly button and just under the breast bone ( from gallbladder keyhole surgey) and they are looking much lighter!
I saw my sister yesterday - she works at a childcare centre, and has caught chicken pox - so she is planning to use the bio iol on her scars that she has been scratching at!

...More excting news this week - my niece that just got married has announced that she is pregnant - due on 26th Feb next year! So two new babies arriving in our family!!

Hope all of you have a great weekend!!

It's been a while since I posted -

My friend Marg passed away on thursday, which is quite sad ~ at least she is not in any pain anymore. The funeral is on Wednesday.

The positives this week;

My niece ( on Vic's side) eloped and got married this weekend - which is kinda cool:)

I lost .2 - that is my 3rd loss in a row!
For the last few weeks my head has been in the right place ~ and things just seem so much easier! I have so much energy lately.

I also have been taking more care with my skin ~ cleansing and moisturising, and I have been using bio oil on my stomach.

I have been reading that '30 mins exercise in the morning is equivelent to 1 hour in the afternoon', so now that the boys are back at school I will be doing 30 min on my airwalker as soon as I come in from taking them to school.

Hope everyone is going well:)

I lost .9 this week - which has me weighing in at 84.5 - so my next 'goal' is to get to 80!

Have had a busy weekend - we brought some crushed rock to put down on the driveway - one side was fine, but where Vic made it bigger a few months ago ( where he parks his car) was dirt - and in this weather was turning muddy. So I helped rake (which was a bit of a workout) - and it looks so much better!!

Went to my sisters today for an undercoverware party, it was nice to catch up with all the girls in the family ( while all the kids were off doing something with their fathers). The best part was;

My brothers girlfriend announced that they are pregnant!!!! - she is due in December!
She had a miscarriage 18 months ago - but things are going fine this time:) It is so exciting...My brother is going to be a dad!!

Well it's way past my bedtime ~ will catch up with you all soon:)

A while ago, Kirsty put it to us to find a unflattering photo to post to motivate us -
I finally found one!
It was taken at a friends wedding a few years ago.

This was one of the only photo's I can find of me at my heaviest - 98 kilo's.

I actually still have that shirt - will have to get a photo taken with how it fits now. In the photo I had to wear something underneath, because it was tight against the bust!

The school holidays have started well, we have been having air popped pop corn for snacks instead of chips - which is great!!

I have a friend I talk to on MSN messenger - we were talking about how we don't do well over the weekends - (I weigh thurs and she weighs fri) so we have decided to tell each other our monday weight - to make us behave over the weekend! It has helped me this week!!

Hope everyone is going well, and all those on holidays are having a great time!!

I want one of these mirrors!!!

Just wanted to tell you about a site I have been looking at www.campbellskitchen.com.au it has some great, easy to cook recipes aswell as articles on health and wellbeing - it's worth a look!!

Things going ok here - not much exercise this week as I have had the boys home sick - but eating is going well!

Just hope it stays that way over the school holidays...a real struggle time for me!

...How excting Kate had her sweet little girl Natalia Raine, yesterday !!

Two weeks ago (the day of that huge gain!) at my weigh in club we all had our photo taken, so they could be made into an album and given to our friend Marg who is still in hospital. Her memory for names is a little sketchy but she does recognise our faces - we all wrote a message near our photo!

We were all given a copy of our photo yesterday - and unfortunetly the camera does not lie... the fat around my middle is terrible!

I'm happy they only used head shots in the album...hehe

I definately don't want my body to look like this anymore!!

Even though this is not my heaviest photo at 98 kilo's ( will have to find that one and post it) This is the heaviest that I have been - I have hovered around this weight for around three years now!! REALITY CHECK... things are not working...things need to change!!

I am still in the right headspace to make these changes...and changes I will make...this time for good!!

I picked up a book while I was in coles yesterday - Karen Hobbs 2nd book~the 28 day meal planner...I am really bad at sticking to daily plans, but I have gone though them and worked out my dinners for the week starting 15th June ( I did this weeks shopping yesterday) Main meals is where I have tended to 'stuff up' lately. I have been getting bored with what I am making...I even considered getting the light and easy meals for a while - I have had them before (4yrs ago) and the dinners are lovely but it is just too expensive when I am not working as much as I would like ( it's only 2-3 times a fortnight at the moment)

I am really looking forward to the meals next week - they include noodles with beef and carrot, beef supreme, chicken cannelloni, sweet and sour chicken and zucchini and cheese pasta!

The problem now is waiting till next week...lol

Edit: Jasons blog is at http://jasonraymondsmith.blogspot.com/

It has been so cold here in the mornings which has made getting out of bed a struggle!
So my week has been very quiet.
Not stressing about numbers on the scale is making life a whole lot easier - feeling 'free' at the moment...hehe

Things are going well with excerise and water...slowly getting up to two litres a day. Eating is ok..I am finding myself wanting nice warm comfort food~have been pretty good, except for a little blowout on the weekend ( but not gunna stress about that!)

Have been busy helping Jason make a blog page of his own - he has watched me do mine and wanted to have a go! The way he is on the computer he will be teaching me more soon!

He is very happy about the no glasses - the fact Harry Potter wore them did help a little, he got upset about kids teasing at school though. Luke doesn't need glasses - but has always wanted them because his brother had them!!

Well I have to go finish working out my shopping list for the week - hope everyone is having a great day!!

I didn't realise it has been a week since I last posted...life has been pretty busy lately!

Jason had an eye appointment the other day ( he has been wearing glasses to read, since half way through prep) he was so happy to find out that he no longer has to waer them ~ a very excited boy...lol ~ he also had a grading in Karate..so now he has two brown bars on his green belt!
We have been busy helping make a castle for Jason's homework~ which took ages! I don't know how you mothers that work full time, get everything done!!
This week Luke has to make a person ~ I am so glad I am not working the next few days!!

I weighed in this morning and I have lost another kilo ~ taking the tablets has really helped with the cravings. A friend sent me a yogaltes dvd which I hope to do a few times a week!
I am managing 1 - 2 litres of water a day ~ I find not stressing about the water is helping get it down ( if that makes sense?)

I think I am finally in the right 'headspace' for weightloss at the moment!
I was laying in bed the other night thinking ( as you do!) I am not happy with how fat I am feeling...my work skirt is starting to get tight, aswell as my vest - my shirt is actully pulling at the bust...I am lucky that the vest covers it!!

My goal at the moment it to be able to breathe properly in my work clothes ~ I am not going to focus on a number ~ I just want to be happy with how I am looking!!

I am going to a wedding in the middle of October, and I would love to be able to wear something nice and flattering...If I was to go this weekend, I would have nothing I am comfortable to wear!
...And of course it is my birthday near the end of Oct too!

Catch up with you all soon XX

I am very happy to say I Lost .6 this week - hopefully it will be all downwards from here...lol

Just a short post tonight - I started work at 6am this morning and didn't finsh till 4pm...so I'm pretty knackered!!
Will try to get online during the weekend:)

Hope you all have great weekends!!

I am still here...lol

Things have been pretty busy workwise - which is great for the bank balance...when I get home I have no time on the computer with Jason hogging it up! He really went through withdrawls when it was broken...lol

Things have been better eating wise...I have done some exercise, though only drinking 1 litre of water - I am finding that really hard!
I am still taking those metabolism tabs - don't know if they are making any difference - I have not been craving things as much....but this may just be in my head!

I will have to keep this short - Luke is home not feeling to well!

Hope everyone is going well:)

I weighed in today - and I have gained a whopping 4 kilo's in 2 weeks!
I am very 'annoyed' ( that's a nice way to put it) at myself that I let it get that bad. I have done my shopping today and have lots of healthy food - I WILL have a better week this week!!

I also brought some blackmores Metabolism advantage, because they were on special - so I will be giving them a go starting tommorrow - I am using them as a kickstart to get back on track!!

I hope everyone else is doing well, I will update more later:)

All my computer problems are sorted - I had to get a new "box" as well as a modem!

I have really missed not being able to post - and read everyones elses, as it is so much easier to stay on track with the support that we all give each other!

Eating is not going so good at the moment, I had a few bad days - which turned to weeks, so I really need to get focused again. I am finding it hard to get back into the water again ( I used to drink 3 litres, now am only getting though 1) - I think the colder weather is not helping! I have not been out walking due to rain, and afternoons getting darker.

My friend Marg is still going well in pallitive care, another local lady who was loved by the whole town died unexpectantly last week which has really shocked the whole town - her funeral was on Friday it was one of the biggest that I have been to.
It has made me really realise that life is way to short - I don't want to spend the time I have unhappy about myself!

Hope you all had a great mothers day, my husband actually shocked me by making a reservation!!! something he has never done before. We went to a chinese resturant in Essendon that we used to go to before the boys were born, and he also had a lovely bunch of flowers waiting - will post a pic when I have put the software on the computer.

Well i must go get the rest of this computer set up!
Hope all is well with everyone:)

Just a quick post to let you know I am still here - I am having trouble connecting to the net at home, so have had to sneek into the school computer!!
Hope everyone is well - will read all your blogs as soon as I can:)

Firstly I wanna say a huge congratulations to Phillippa for reaching goal this week!!!
she has been a great inspiration to read, and I can't wait to see how maintence goes for her:)

Today it was only a little loss - .1
I am happy with a loss!!

My friend is still being kept comfortable ~ thanks for all your good wishes!!

This will have to be a quick post - Jason is away at camp, and Luke is lonely so I will go and play with him!

Hope everyone is having a great day:)